Messy and Perfect

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I feel the crisp fall air on my face every time I look at this photograph. Here, in this image, Jeff and I will always be the same. Unchanged. This now imagined utopia, existing only in memory and as evidenced by this photograph, had once been real. I always come back to this time where we sat in the golden light of a chilly fall day where we began to understand how our lives would forever change. This is where time stands still - in a world where all negativity is outlawed.

A simple, messy, unfocused snapshot that was the beginning of us. Our family.

This image was taken in October of 2000. The inscription on the back reads:

Kelly & Jeff, October 2000 Pax River Park, MD

Jeff & I went for a hike & I told him I was pregnant. In this photo we are sitting in a (illegible words) overlooking the salt marsh.

Looking at this image is like time travel but for my soul. I didn’t know it then but this image would became a trigger that has the ability to set off a meticulously staged photomontage in my mind. All while masquerading as a simple, messy snapshot.

The image was taken with my Pentax camera on self timer. Jeff looks absolutely petrified, doesn’t he? Maybe he is but, if so, he never showed it. He was supportive, calm, and at ease. We had no idea how it was all going to work out or what would become of us. There wasn’t much we did know other then everything was about to change. This image will forever be my visual evidence of a moment that has the ability to unleash feelings I could never fully describe.

This messy image that is out of focus, where the white balance is off and the composition is all wrong; this messy image could not have been more perfect.

Oh how messy and unplanned can sometimes lead to stunningly beautiful things in life.

Post script:

The cardigan sweater I have on in this image belonged to my Granddad Angelo. He was still alive when this was taken so I am not sure how or why I had one of his sweaters - but I did and I loved it.

Nine months after this photo was shot we had a little boy.

We call him Angelo.

I’ve no doubt the universe is much more thoughtful and smarter then we will ever be.